Who Will Prince Harry Date Next?

From left: by Fred Duval/FilmMagic; by Chris Jackson/Getty Images; by Nick Harvey/WireImage.

Who Will Prince Harry Date Next? - Prince Harry has been single not even half a week and the “Harry Out Partying!” headlines have already started up. Us Weekly is reporting today that Harry went out in Miami, on Wednesday night, with a group of friends for his buddy Guy Pelly’s bachelor party, in advance of Pelly’s wedding this weekend in Memphis. The group hit up Hakkasan and LIV, in Miami Beach, where there were no doubt countless revelers whispering to their friends, “Wait, that guy dancing awkwardly in the VIP section to this Rihanna song? That couldn’t be, it’s not . . . that’s not Prince Harry, is it?!”

Now that Harry and Cressida have split (for now, at least), we thought this would be an appropriate time, two days after the announcement (the next day would have been positively gauche), to assess who Harry could potentially date next.

Let’s take a look.

1) Chelsy Davy. 

Harry and Chelsy dated for seven years, and the Daily Mail has a report out today that Chelsy may have actually played a role in the Harry-Cressida split, as “Harry’s friends say he has never quite got over Chelsy.” Sure, Chelsy is currently dating “society jeweler” Charles Goode, but—and all due respect to Goode—if Prince Harry calls you up and says, “Uhhhh, let’s get back together?,” you stand up your boyfriend, go buy a new dress, and meet Harry at seven P.M. for burgers. (Also, semi-related: look at this picture of Chelsy and Kate—they look like they’d be played by Cameron Diaz—girl who just can’t get it together—and Anne Hathaway—her type-A sister, with a family—in a movie.) Odds: 7-1

2) Pippa Middleton. 

Following the royal wedding, there was something of a mass movement to will Pippa and Harry into coupledom. Romantic photoshoots between Pippa and Harry lookalikes were commissioned; Us Weekly put them on the cover with a “Their Love Secrets” headline. Alas, the two have never actually been an item, and, at the moment, Pippa seems quite content with boyfriend Nico Jackson, but, if there was ever a time for the two to give it a go, now would be it. (Can you imagine? The Daily Mail offices would no doubt just up and implode.) Odds: 40-1

3) Cara Delevingne. 

Cara bears more than a passing resemblance to Cressida, as the two slight blondes both have a grungy, just-rolled-out-of-bed-in-these-clothes style, as if they are constantly en route to Coachella. (We like to think Cara has at one point borrowed Cressy’s bejeweled moccasins.) And unlike Chelsy or Pippa, Cara—having just split from Michelle Rodriguez—is unattached at the moment. Also, dating Prince Harry would mean Cara—who once was seeing Harry Styles—would just need to date Harry Potter down the road to achieve the rare Famous British Harrys dating trifecta. Odds: 15-1

4) Cressida Bonas (again). 

A number of the reports in the wake of the Harry-Cressida breakup note that the pair could very well reconcile, as they are now at very different stages of life (Cressida is four years younger than Harry) and Cressida may just need some time before she is ready for a serious commitment. And of course, Kate Middleton and Prince William took a break and ended up getting back together—and we all know how that turned out (as a gently bickering, photogenic married couple with a son who will no doubt cure diseases and end world hunger when he is older). For all we know, one late-night Cressida text (“missin u, babe—that movie ‘ted’ u love is on rite now”) could be all it takes for the two to get right back together. Odds: 3-1

5) Lindsay Lohan. 

These two would have so much to talk about: they’re both redheads; they both have dealt with their share of unflattering press in the past; they both haven’t been in a commercially successful movie in a few years. Also, Lindsay was just in the U.K.—perhaps she met up with Harry (by which we mean, perhaps she looked up what his favorite pubs are, and then stopped by each one of them multiple times, until she found him!). Odds: 200-1

6) The Winner of the I Wanna Marry “Harry” reality show. 

The producers of this reality show—which will feature a host of American women dating a man who they believe to be Prince Harry but is in fact a lookalike—must be slapping themselves at their good fortune with this free publicity courtesy of the real Prince Harry. Whoever “wins” this show, though, is presumably going to be heartbroken when she learns that she’s been kissing and holding hands and fawning over a random dude with red hair. If Prince Harry decided to even just take her out for tea once the show is over, he would receive all kinds of good press (“The Real Deal: Smiling Harry Shows Heartbroken Reality-Show Winner What an Actual Prince Looks Like on Friendly Night Out”). Odds: 500-1

This article originally appeared in : Who Will Prince Harry Date Next? | vanityfair.com | By Josh Duboff | 2:26 PM, May 1 2014